Wild Kingdom

We live in suburbia, but back up to parkland. The parkland provides us with any number of wild animals. We've got foxes, snakes, deer, idiots hunting deer, squirrels, a zillion types of birds, beavers, and many many more. A few weeks ago, I saw two bucks sparring in our neighbor's front yard, pretty neat to watch. Just this morning, a fox trotted through our front yard. We have some enormous foxes.

I enjoy feeding the birds. As part of our Wild Kingdom, sometimes my bird feeding creates a feeding ground for hawks. The hawks swoop on birds about 3 feet in front of our living room window, providing for some interesting entertainment - especially when guests are over. Some of you might remember the war on squirrels that I was previously engaged in. I eventually won, if you consider removing half of my bird feeders and spending $70 on a new squirrel proof one winning. As with the war on terror, if you don't eradicate every last one of them, they apparently get stronger. And bigger.

Tonight as we were frantically making playdough when we remembered we were on the hook for a double batch of yellow playdoug tomorrow, Doug said, "what is that noise?" as we heard what sounded like Maggie and some friends tearing around on the deck. Maggie was asleep at my feet, so the noise was extra curious. We turned off all of the lights and peeked out onto the deck to find the cutest little raccoon head you've ever seen looking back at us. I quickly realized that my new $70 feeder was missing and suddenly the raccoon head looked more like a coonskin cap. Being the brave woman I am (need I remind you about the mouse?), I sent Doug out to retrieve my bird feeder from wherever the varmit took it.

As Doug opened the door from the porch to the deck, we heard an entire pack of raccoons - a nursery or a gaze according to Wikipedia - scurry off of the deck and into the woods (there were at least three, which to me constitutes a pack, nursery, gaze or all of the above). Our deck is two stories off of the ground, so they had a long way down and then they tore across the backyard as though their very lives depended on it.

I'm sure you'll all be relieved to know that the missing feeder was recovered mere inches from the scene of the crime. It had gotten stuck in the deck so the (adorable) wretched little beasts weren't able to haul it off. I'm almost sad to pull the feeders in each night because it means we won't get any more raccoon visitors.