So what have the kids done this week? How would I know? I can barely even write that without bursting into tears. Heaven help the poor fools who asked me how my job is going at our neighborhood happy hour on Friday night (they got a ridiculously tear filled response).
But, Elisabeth has managed to make us laugh a few times this weekend. But before the funny stories, you'll be happy to know, she went with me to Costco. She even enjoyed it. We went without Charlotte, which I think made her happiest of all. We got to eat our hot dogs and have our Cokes in peace.
As a preliminary to the next story - Doug has a brother named Nick. On the way home from Costco, I told Elisabeth I was going to invent a new nickname for her. She is tired of Tallulah Bell, LizzyLou, and the most frequent name I call her - Lulu (which is short for Lulabell). So I now, occasionally, refer to her as Twinkle Toes, making her full name - as per Elisabeth - Elisabeth Virginia Twinkle Toes. When we got home, a few hours later, she said to Doug, "Hey, Daddy.... Mommy made me a new.... a new..... uh.... a new..... unclename?" Doug, being the smart cookie that he is, immediately made the Uncle Nick connection.
Then, last night, Elisabeth asked me to read her this book: The Tale of the Three Trees which is about these three trees, one of which becomes Jesus' manger, one becomes the boat that Jesus is in on the lake when he calms the storm, and one of which becomes the cross. It is actually a very nice story. But I am increasingly hesitant to read it to Elisabeth because, well, she wants to get into advanced theology that (a) I'm not qualified to talk about and (b) goes well beyond her ability to understand. So last night, we talked about the following things:
- That the next time there is a storm, she will spread her arms out and say "Peace." I wish I had a video camera for this because, well, it was classic.
- That Jesus died.
- That kings can be mean.
- That a king killed Jesus because they thought he was telling lies (remember, we're in the lying phase, I thought capitalizing on this might be a good idea until she said, with a pale face and wide eyes, "THEY KILL YOU FOR TELLING LIES??" and I had to backtrack and explain that this was in a different time where people got killed for all sorts of things, but that it most certainly wouldn't happen now.)
- That yes, Jesus also called himself a king (where did she learn this?!?!)
- That not just everyone can come back to life.
- That Jesus got sent to Earth by his Daddy to live here and teach people.
- That Earth is where we live.
- No, that Earth is also where Mexicans live.
- Yes, that Mercedes (the cleaning lady) also lives on Earth.
- That no, the bird that crashed into the window and died cannot come back to life because it is not God.
- And no, neither can the dead deer we saw on the way to Costco. Because it is not God. Or God's son. I didn't even get to the holy trinity, we got stuck on just the duo.
Then, she asked, "Who is God?" I told her that he made everyone and all of the animals and everything on Earth. And then she asked what happens when people die. And why, if God could bring Jesus back to life, he can't bring other things back to life. It was at this point that I realized I was in way over my head and told her that it was confusing, even to adults. But that Grandmommy would be more than happy to tell her all about it. I've heard rumblings of last night's discussion throughout the day today. I hope I haven't screwed up her religious beliefs at the ripe old age of 3. I was mostly just really relieved when she stopped asking questions. I have no idea how to explain these things. I can't even explain them all to myself!
Today, she has decided that she wants to do rythmic gymnastics, because, well, they get to not only play with hoops and batons, but they get to THROW the hoops and batons. She was pretty sad to hear that the Olympics are over.
OK another week begins tomorrow. Tragedy of tragedies, we've learned that they have blocked yahoo fantasy sports and facebook so that we can't access them from work. You have no idea how crushed I am. I love surfing the waiver wire and, well, facebook is an addiction. But maybe this will inspire me to work faster so that I can get home sooner. Hopefully I'll have a "happier" work report next time. In the meantime, don't ask.