kiddie politics

As I perused cnn.com, I saw a link that said "is your child a Weepublican or a Demoquat?" I desperately hoped to find a quiz that parents could take about their kids behavior that would indicate whether I had a little Hillary or a little Ann Coulter (good grief, what a Hobson's choice). Sadly it was a fluff piece about parents who make their kids wear shirts that say "My mom stumps for Obama." Or a family of 10 kids with shirts that read, "Go Catholic or go home." Anyway, NOT what I was looking for. But wouldn't it be funny? I think that their little traits at this age have to indicate something!!

1. At the dinner table, your child is most likely to:
A. Tell you she doesn't want any dinner, then proceed to eat everything off of your plate telling you each time you complain (while stroking your hair with her nasty beef stew covered fingers), "its ok, Mommy, we can share."
B. Tell you she wants Fruit Loops for dinner, then protest wildly when you tell her Fruit Loops aren't dinner food and proceed to starve herself out of principal.
C. What? My child doesn't even come to the dinner table because that requires not running around and around and around.
D. Take the plate of food she's offered and then break miniscule pieces off of everything and insist that you eat them.

(answer in my house is a resounding A, B, C, and D depending on the day of the week)

2. When playing with other children, your child:
A. runs the show. tells all other children exactly where to stand, when to move, and whether or not they're allowed to breathe.
B. cries when they have to play with children as described in A.
C. takes toys from the other kids.
D. puts a hurting on kids who take toys from other kids.

(in our house, it is A and D mostly - although Elisabeth hasn't ever hurt another kid, she just rats them out. everyone loves a tattle tale, I tell her).

3. When talking to herself in her room, your child mostly:
A. Talks to her dolls about who gets to eat next, whose diaper needs changing, etc.
B. Tells herself the most ridiculous knock knock jokes.
C. gives self affirmations, e.g. "sometimes I don't cooperate and mommy gets mad. but mommy stilllll loves me."
D. shreds her books (hmm, could be akin to book burning - see I KNEW this quiz could have political indicia)

(we've got B, C and D here. IF she talks to her dolls, it is ordering them around or telling them knock knock jokes - more on the jokes later).

I think someone should spend some time researching this. I believe, through my incredibly sophisticated algorithm, that the score I received taking this quiz for Elisabeth indicates that Elisabeth is a strong leader, bordering on dictator, who has a strong sense of property rights - yet will share if she is so inclined but Lord help the person who tries to make her do anything against her will. Maybe all kids are little libertarians.

As for the knock knock jokes. Elisabeth heard the one that goes:
Me: "Knock knock"
E: "Who's there?"
Me: "Boo."
E: "Boo hoo?"
Me: "Oh don't cry, its only a joke!"

she thought that was about the funniest thing she'd heard in a long time. Now she has invented lots of knock knock jokes. Today's goes like this:

E: "Mommy mommy - knock knock"
Me: "who's there?"
E: "ELMO!"
Me: "Elmo who?"
E: "uhmmmmmm..... Elmo....... ELEPHANT!!!!"
Me: "ha ha."
E: "Oh DON'T CRY mommy, it is only a joke!"

She is saying a lot of things lately that break my heart because they're so sweet. My parents were here for her early birthday celebration. Doug said to her that they might bring her presents. She said "oh! Presents!! maybe they'll bring one for Charlotte tooooo!" Then today, she said she was glad Charlotte was taking a nap. Doug asked her why, and she said because then Charlotte could grow big and play with her. Then "mommy and daddy will be so happy because they won't have to play with me." :(